For parents and trusted adults

Be the adult they can call

Listen first. Offer choices. Practice the words.

Short lessons, videos and words to practice for the conversations that matter with a young adult: helping them leave, responding to hard news, and repairing a reaction that came out wrong.

Your young adult can use the Becoming Project on their own. Practicing together is an invitation, never a requirement.

Practice a lesson ▶ Parent videos Conversation guide

Lessons for parents

Real moments with a young adult (18 and older). Pick the response you would try, see why it helps, and keep the words. Each lesson ends with a next step and words you can use, never a score.

Tap an answer, drag the card left or right, or use the arrow keys.

Parent lessons are the Becoming Project’s own wording, adapted from the organizations cited on each lesson. They are education, not clinical, legal or medical advice, and the cited organizations have not reviewed or endorsed them. If someone is in danger now, call 911.

The conversation guide

Words to try, practice for your own responses, and a plan you can make together. Use any part, in any order.

Start with connection

Try“I want you to know you can call me when something feels uncomfortable, even if you’re worried I’ll be upset. Would you rather talk now, look at a lesson together, or come back to this another time?”

Choose one question:

“What would make it easier to ask me for help?”
“When you want to leave somewhere, who could you contact?”
“Would you want me to listen, help think through options, or do something practical?”

Give them time to answer. They may want privacy, a different trusted adult, or another conversation later.

Watch one moment together

Choose a short lesson or a film from a trusted resource. Let your young adult decide whether they want to watch.

Afterward, ask:

“What did you notice?”
“Where did someone’s choice stop being respected?”
“What could a friend do?”
“What words would feel natural to you?”

You do not need to agree on every detail to understand each other better.

▶ Watch lesson videos Explore One Love films

Films open on One Love’s own site, which provides captions. Nothing here plays automatically.

Practice your response

Your response is something you can practice, too.

“I need to leave. Please don’t ask questions right now.”

Try“I’m glad you called. What would help you leave? I can help arrange a ride.”
“Something happened, but I’m not ready to explain.”

Try“You don’t have to explain right now. I’m here. Would you like me to listen, stay with you, or help you find support?”
“I don’t want to talk about safety again.”

Try“Okay. We can leave it here. You can still call me when you need help.”

Make a promise you can keep

Agree on:

A code word and what it means.
What you can realistically do when contacted.
Who can help if you do not answer.
A first transportation option and a backup.
How your young adult wants to check in, if they choose to.

Try“If you need help leaving, I’ll focus on helping you first. If I can’t come, we’ll have a backup person and another way home.”

Open My Plan together

Your young adult chooses what to include and share. My plan is kept in the browser they use; nothing is sent to you or to the Becoming Project.

If they tell you someone hurt them

Start with:

“I’m glad you told me. I believe you. This was not your fault. You don’t have to tell me every detail.”

Then ask:

“What would help right now?”

Offer choices: listening, practical help, or finding support. Let them guide the conversation. Avoid questions that suggest they caused the harm, demands for a full account, or promises about outcomes you cannot control.

Find support options

If your reaction made things harder

You can return to the conversation.

Try“I reacted from fear, and I didn’t listen well. I’m sorry. You deserved a calmer response. I’d like to understand what support you want from me.”

Ask the coach

Pick a prompt. It opens in the coach, where you can change it before sending.

Leave out names and other identifying details about your young adult or anyone else.

Resources for parents

Guides from the organizations these lessons draw on. Each link opens the organization’s own site.

View all resources

Close with reassurance

You do not need perfect words. Keep making room for honest conversations. Respect their choices, follow through on your promises, and let them know your care does not depend on getting everything right.

My phrases

Phrases you save are kept only in this browser.

Was this useful?

Optional. Your answer is counted anonymously. It is used only to choose what to improve, never to guess anything about your young adult.

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